Back in Time Today
Remember those family movies from the 1980s that somehow squeezed by with PG ratings? The film industry was wildly different back then, before the PG-13 rating became common in 1984. Parents would take their kids to seemingly innocent films only to encounter surprisingly dark themes, scary moments, and jokes that would make today’s rating boards clutch their pearls. Here’s a nostalgic look at 13 beloved children’s classics from the 80s that would definitely earn stricter ratings if released today.
1. The Goonies (1985)
Adventure meets potty mouth in this treasure-hunting classic! Kids today would need parental guidance for more than just the pirate traps.
The film’s frequent profanity, including multiple uses of “sh*t” and “hell,” would immediately bump it to PG-13 territory by modern standards. That’s before we even get to Chunk’s infamous “Truffle Shuffle” body-shaming moment or the genuinely terrifying scenes with the Fratelli crime family threatening children with death.
Remember that corpse in the freezer? Or Data’s violent inventions? Modern family films simply don’t include this level of danger, language, and crude humor anymore.
2. Gremlins (1984)
Cute furry Mogwai transforms into nightmare fuel! This Christmas-set horror-comedy literally changed movie rating history.
Exploding gremlins in microwaves, decapitations, and blender deaths would never fly in today’s PG films. The infamous Santa story where Kate reveals her father died while climbing down the chimney dressed as Santa Claus was so traumatizing it helped convince the MPAA to create the PG-13 rating.
Steven Spielberg’s production balanced adorable Gizmo with genuinely horrific monster attacks that would send modern parents storming out of theaters if marketed as family-friendly entertainment.
3. Beetlejuice (1988)
Tim Burton’s ghostly comedy pushed boundaries that would shock modern parents. The film casually includes a demonic wedding attempting to force marriage with a minor!
Michael Keaton’s manic ghost mumbles profanities (including a barely-disguised F-bomb), makes sexual references, and grabs his crotch. The afterlife waiting room features suicides with graphic injuries still visible, including a smoker with a slit throat and a hunter with a shrunken head.
Burton’s macabre sensibilities created a “family film” featuring death, demon possession, and nightmare sequences that would earn an immediate PG-13 rating today.
4. Howard the Duck (1986)
George Lucas produced this bizarre comic adaptation featuring an anthropomorphic duck with disturbingly human characteristics. Parents expecting a cute animal adventure got something entirely different!
The film includes a near-sex scene between Howard and human Lea Thompson, complete with duck condoms in Howard’s wallet. Multiple scenes feature suggestive dialogue, implied bestiality, and sexual innuendo that would never pass today’s ratings board for children’s viewing.
Howard’s cigar-smoking, beer-drinking lifestyle and the film’s weirdly adult tone make this one of the most inappropriately rated “family” films of the decade.
5. Legend (1985)
Ridley Scott’s dark fantasy showcased Tim Curry as the most terrifying devil ever to grace a PG-rated film. His massive horned Lord of Darkness remains pure nightmare material decades later.
The film features attempted unicorn slaughter, demonic rituals, and a disturbing seduction scene where Darkness tries to corrupt the innocent princess. Visually stunning but deeply unsettling, the movie’s hellish imagery and gothic horror elements would guarantee a PG-13 rating today.
Even the director’s cut includes scenes of violence and sexual tension that modern ratings boards would consider inappropriate for young viewers.
6. The NeverEnding Story (1984)
This fantasy adventure traumatized an entire generation with a single scene. The slow, agonizing death of Atreyu’s horse Artax in the Swamp of Sadness remains one of cinema’s most heartbreaking moments.
Beyond that infamous scene, the film presents existential dread through the Nothing, a force destroying an entire world. The Rock Biter’s monologue about being unable to save his friends conveys a sense of helplessness rarely found in children’s entertainment.
Add in the terrifying G’mork wolf, the Sphinx statues that kill with laser eyes, and the overall theme of childhood depression, and you’ve got content too intense for modern PG ratings.
7. Willow (1988)
George Lucas and Ron Howard collaborated on this fantasy epic that didn’t shy away from graphic violence. Audiences witnessed multiple on-screen deaths, including decapitations and transformations into animals that were then killed.
Queen Bavmorda’s final death scene shows her melting and exploding in a manner reminiscent of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Two-headed monsters, trolls, and an army of skeletal Death Dogs create genuinely frightening sequences that would earn a PG-13 today.
Even baby Elora Danan faces constant mortal danger, with threats of infanticide that seem shockingly dark for a supposed children’s fantasy adventure.
8. The Dark Crystal (1982)
Jim Henson’s puppet masterpiece ventures into horror territory that would terrify today’s children. The vulture-like Skeksis aren’t just villains – they’re nightmare-inducing monsters who drain the life essence from innocent creatures.
The infamous “essence draining” scene shows a helpless Podling strapped to a chair, having its life force painfully extracted until it becomes a mindless slave. The film’s overall gothic aesthetic, including the trial by fire and ritual sacrifices, creates a deeply unsettling atmosphere.
Despite being puppets, the Skeksis eating scenes, with their rotting food and disgusting table manners, are deliberately repulsive in ways modern PG films avoid.
9. Return to Oz (1985)
Forget the cheerful Judy Garland version – this unofficial sequel opens with Dorothy receiving electroshock therapy in a mental institution! Parents expecting singing munchkins instead got one of the darkest children’s films ever made.
The Wheelers – humans with wheels for hands and feet who screech maniacally – still cause nightmares decades later. Princess Mombi removes her head and stores it in a cabinet alongside dozens of other screaming heads that she wears as fashion accessories.
The Nome King turns people into ornaments when they guess incorrectly in his sadistic game. Modern ratings boards would never allow such psychological horror in a PG film.
10. Clash of the Titans (1981)
Ray Harryhausen’s stop-motion masterpiece brought Greek mythology to life with surprising violence for a PG rating. Perseus’ adventures include graphic beheadings, stabbings, and monster attacks that would make modern parents uncomfortable.
The Medusa sequence remains genuinely terrifying, with her decapitation shown in silhouette. The Kraken emerges from the sea to devour a chained, screaming Princess Andromeda in a scene dripping with horror elements.
Calibos’ transformation from handsome man to cloven-hoofed monster and the three witches sharing a single eye create disturbing visuals that, combined with the film’s violence, would guarantee a PG-13 rating today.
11. The Secret of NIMH (1982)
Don Bluth left Disney to make darker animated films, and this adaptation of Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH proves how far he was willing to go. The film opens with a mother desperately seeking medicine for her dying child!
Flashback sequences show laboratory rats being injected with experimental drugs, trapped in cages, and subjected to painful tests. The Great Owl sequence features decomposing animal skeletons and a genuinely threatening predator that nearly eats our protagonist.
The power-hungry Jenner murders Nicodemus in a shocking betrayal, leading to a bloody sword fight that ends with Jenner being impaled – graphic content rarely seen in modern children’s animation.
12. An American Tail (1986)
This seemingly cute mouse immigration story contains surprisingly dark historical commentary. The film opens with a Cossack attack and pogrom against Jewish mice in Russia, directly paralleling real-world antisemitism.
Fievel’s family is torn apart during a storm at sea, leading everyone to believe he has drowned – a devastating scene for young viewers. The Warren T. Rat storyline includes threats of mouse genocide, with cats planning to exterminate the mice by turning them into mouse burgers.
Modern animated films rarely address themes like immigration hardships, ethnic persecution, child labor, and political corruption that permeate this Don Bluth classic.
13. The Last Unicorn (1982)
This animated fantasy features surprisingly mature themes of mortality, regret, and lost innocence. The Red Bull’s pursuit of the unicorn creates genuinely terrifying chase sequences with apocalyptic imagery.
The Harpy scene graphically shows the creature devouring an old woman, with blood visibly dripping from its mouth afterward. King Haggard’s castle exudes existential dread, with the character himself representing the emptiness of a life without joy or purpose.
The melancholic tone, combined with the unicorn’s transformation into a human woman who experiences regret and loss, creates an emotional complexity rarely found in today’s children’s entertainment. Modern ratings would recognize this film’s philosophical weight deserves a PG-13.