Back in Time Today
Dating rules have evolved significantly over the decades, with the 1960s having its own unique set of expectations that shaped social interactions. Teenagers today might find these historical norms quite bizarre, reflecting how much society has changed.
From strict parental controls to elaborate social etiquettes, these rules governed how young people navigated the world of romance. Here’s a look at 17 dating rules from the 1960s that may sound extraordinary to the modern teenager.
1. Formal Introductions Were a Must
In the 1960s, formal introductions were a critical part of dating. When two young people decided to go out, the boy was typically introduced to the girl’s family beforehand.
This introduction was seen as a sign of respect and a way to establish trust with the girl’s parents. Parents took this formality seriously, often grilling the potential suitor to ensure he was a ‘good boy.’
This established a relationship between the families and built a foundation for the young couple’s interactions. Modern-day teenagers might find this practice quite formal compared to today’s more casual dating scene.
2. Asking the Father for Permission
Back in the 1960s, asking the father for permission to date his daughter was a common prerequisite. This tradition was rooted in respect and the belief that the father was the head of the household.
It was considered an honor and a sign of good character for the young man to seek approval. The father would often question the boy, assessing his intentions and background.
Today’s teenagers might see this as an antiquated ritual, reflecting the patriarchal norms of that era that have since evolved in most societies.
3. Strict Curfews and Chaperones
Teenagers in the 1960s often had to adhere to strict curfews, with many dates supervised by a chaperone. Parents were highly protective, enforcing rules to ensure their children’s safety and moral behavior.
Chaperones, usually a family member or trusted adult, accompanied the couple to events, maintaining a watchful eye. This practice was intended to prevent inappropriate behavior and ensure the couple returned home on time.
Today’s teenagers may find such supervision excessive, as autonomy in dating has become more prevalent in contemporary society.
4. Dress Codes Dictated by Parents
In the 1960s, parents often dictated the dress code for their teenagers’ dates. Modesty was emphasized, with girls expected to wear dresses or skirts and boys in clean-cut attire.
Parents believed that proper dress reflected good upbringing and respect for oneself and others. This emphasis on appearance was part of the era’s broader social norms.
Teenagers today might view these strict dress codes as outdated, preferring to express themselves through personal style rather than adhering to rigid parental standards.
5. The Boy Always Paid
During the 1960s, it was customary for the boy to pay for all dating expenses. This practice was rooted in traditional gender roles, where the male was seen as the provider.
Paying for the date symbolized the boy’s ability to take care of his partner and his seriousness about the relationship. This expectation reinforced societal norms about masculinity and financial responsibility.
Modern teenagers might find this expectation restrictive, as dating expenses today are often shared more equally between partners.
6. No Dates Until You’re “Proper Age”
In the 1960s, many parents set a ‘proper age’ for their children to start dating, often around 16 or 17. This age restriction was intended to protect young people from premature romantic entanglements.
Parents believed that waiting ensured emotional maturity and readiness for the responsibilities of dating. This rule was strictly enforced, with some parents even grounding teenagers who broke it.
Today, the concept of a ‘proper age’ to date varies widely, with many teens starting to date earlier and with more freedom than previous generations.
7. Schedules Were Strictly Coordinated by Parents
In the 1960s, parents often coordinated dating schedules for their teenagers, dictating when and where dates could occur. This control ensured that parents always knew their children’s whereabouts.
Teens had limited autonomy and were expected to follow the schedule set by their parents. This oversight was seen as necessary for safety and reputation.
Today, teenagers enjoy more independence, often planning their social activities without parental intervention, reflecting a shift towards trusting young people to manage their own time and decisions.
8. Limited Physical Contact (and Definitely No “Going Steady” Too Soon)
Physical contact in dating was limited in the 1960s, with couples expected to maintain propriety. Public displays of affection were frowned upon, and ‘going steady’ was considered premature.
Parents encouraged their children to date multiple people before settling on a serious relationship. This approach was intended to ensure careful selection of a partner.
Modern teenagers might view these rules as restrictive, as contemporary norms around dating and relationships have become more relaxed, allowing for more personal freedom and expression.
9. Phone Call Etiquette
Phone call etiquette was a significant aspect of dating in the 1960s. Young people were taught to be polite and concise when calling their date, often using a family phone. Calls were generally brief and respectful, with boys typically initiating contact.
This practice emphasized respect and good manners. Today, the ubiquity of mobile phones and texting has transformed communication, making it more casual and frequent, a stark contrast to the structured interactions of the past.
10. Reputation Was Everything
In the 1960s, maintaining a good reputation was crucial for teenagers. A young person’s social standing could be significantly impacted by their dating behavior.
Teens were often judged by their peers and community, with any perceived misconduct leading to gossip and social repercussions. Reputation dictated one’s social life and future opportunities.
While reputation still matters today, modern teenagers experience a different social landscape, where individuality and personal choices are more accepted and valued over the collective judgment of the past.
11. Double Dating Was Encouraged
Double dating was a popular trend in the 1960s, encouraged for its social and safety benefits. It allowed young people to socialize in groups, reducing the pressure of a one-on-one date.
This practice also provided an opportunity for friends to approve of each other’s dates and ensure everyone behaved appropriately.
Modern teenagers might find double dating less common, as individual dates have become more normalized. However, group outings are still popular, reflecting a blend of socializing and dating.
12. “The Boy Always Calls First”
In the 1960s, it was expected that the boy would always initiate contact by calling first. This rule was part of the broader expectations of male leadership in relationships. Girls were often advised to wait patiently for a boy’s call, reflecting traditional gender roles.
The pressure was on the boy to show interest and take the lead. Today, this expectation has largely faded as communication in relationships has become more equal, with both parties feeling free to reach out and express interest.
13. Strictly “No Car Dates” Until You’re Older
Car dates were often forbidden for younger teenagers in the 1960s. Parents believed that unsupervised car dates led to inappropriate behavior.
Teenagers were encouraged to stick to public places and group events until deemed old enough to handle the responsibility of car dates. This rule was intended to protect young people and their reputations.
While car dates are a common part of teenage life today, the emphasis on safety and responsibility remains, although with more flexibility than in the past.
14. Dances Were a Big Deal (and Had Their Own Etiquette)
School dances were major social events in the 1960s, governed by their own set of rules and etiquette. Attire was formal, and behavior on the dance floor was closely monitored.
Dances provided a structured environment for socializing and were seen as a rite of passage for teenagers. Strict rules ensured orderly conduct and preserved the event’s decorum.
Modern teens still attend dances, though the formality and rules have relaxed, allowing for more individual expression and less rigid expectations.
15. Handwritten Notes and Letters
In the 1960s, handwritten notes and letters were a heartfelt way to communicate in dating. They added a personal touch, allowing young people to express themselves thoughtfully.
Exchanging letters was a cherished tradition, often kept as mementos of young love. This form of communication required effort and sincerity, creating deeper connections.
Though texting and instant messaging have replaced letters for many, the sentiment behind handwritten notes still resonates, offering a nostalgic and meaningful way to connect.
16. Pinning Ceremonies (College-Level, But Trickled Down)
Pinning ceremonies were common in the 1960s, especially among college students, symbolizing a serious commitment. The boy would give his fraternity pin to his girlfriend, marking an exclusive relationship.
This tradition sometimes trickled down to high school couples, signifying the intent to ‘go steady.’ The ceremony was a public declaration of commitment, adding a formal aspect to young romances.
Today, such rituals are less common, as relationships are defined more by mutual understanding and personal milestones than formal ceremonies.
17. Etiquette Lessons (Sometimes Church-Sponsored)
In the 1960s, etiquette lessons were often part of a teenager’s upbringing, sometimes sponsored by churches or community groups. These classes taught social graces, including dating etiquette.
Young people learned how to behave appropriately in various social situations, reflecting the era’s emphasis on manners and respectability.
Modern teenagers might find such formal instruction outdated, as social norms have evolved to focus more on authenticity and personal expression. However, the underlying principles of respect and courtesy continue to be valued.