Back in Time Today
Bobcat Goldthwait is a true original—his high-pitched voice, manic energy, and fearless approach to taboo subjects made him one of the most memorable stand-up comedians of the ‘80s and ‘90s. Beyond the voice, his material was sharp, surreal, and wonderfully weird. Here are 19 of his funniest, quirkiest jokes that capture his unique comedic voice.
1. Joke 1: Anxiety Escape
With a voice not just heard but felt, Bobcat quips, “People ask me, ‘Bobcat, why are you yelling?’ I’m not yelling! This is just what it sounds like when my anxiety tries to escape!” A humorous take on his loud persona, he turns anxiety into comedic gold.
2. Joke 2: Clown Dreams
“I wanted to be a serious actor,” Bobcat jokes. “Hollywood said, ‘Sure, here’s a clown wig and a rubber chicken—get to work!’” This quip highlights his self-deprecating humor and how he embraced his comedic path despite initial aspirations for drama.
3. Joke 3: Meditation Mayhem
“I tried meditation once,” he chuckles. “My brain was like, ‘Oh, you want peace and quiet? Great. Let’s think about every embarrassing thing you’ve ever done… loudly.’” With this, Bobcat captures the struggle of calming a busy mind in his signature style.
4. Joke 4: Comedian’s Duty
“When I was a kid, I told my parents I wanted to be a comedian,” Bobcat reminisces. “They said, ‘That’s nice, honey. Now go wash the dishes.’ Dreams crushed with a sponge.” A nostalgic look at childhood dreams and parental realism, delivered with wit.
5. Joke 5: Cat Conspiracy
“You ever notice how cats just stare at you like they’re plotting?” Bobcat wonders. “That’s why I don’t trust them. At least dogs let you know they’re dumb upfront.” Using pet behavior, he cleverly contrasts feline mystery with canine simplicity.
6. Joke 6: Cheat Decade
“I once tried to diet,” Bobcat admits. “I lasted two hours. Then I ate a whole cake and justified it by calling it a ‘cheat decade.’” This joke highlights his honest struggle with dieting, wrapped in exaggerated humor and self-awareness.
7. Joke 7: Internal Screams
“My friends say, ‘Bobcat, you’ve calmed down over the years,’” he shares. “No, I’ve just learned to scream internally.” A clever twist on personal growth versus perception, Bobcat’s ability to convey internal chaos with humor shines through.
8. Joke 8: Medication Side Effects
“I love how TV commercials for medications list side effects like, ‘May cause dizziness, dry mouth, sudden death.’” Bobcat observes. “Like… that escalated quickly.” His comedic timing shines as he critiques the absurdity of pharmaceutical warnings.
9. Joke 9: Combat Sneezing
“I’m getting older,” Bobcat confesses. “The other day I sneezed and threw out my back. I didn’t know sneezing could be a combat sport.” With humor, he relates the surprises of aging, turning a mundane act into a comedic spectacle.
10. Joke 10: Screamer Identity
“Being famous is weird,” Bobcat muses. “People think they know you. They come up and scream back at me. I’m like, ‘No, no—I’m the screamer here!’” He humorously addresses the misconceptions of fame with his signature self-awareness and charm.
11. Joke 11: Roller Coaster Love
“Relationships are like roller coasters,” Bobcat compares. “Fun at first… but by the end you’re dizzy, broke, and screaming for it to stop.” With this metaphor, he captures the exhilarating yet tumultuous nature of love and partnership.
12. Joke 12: Robin Williams Comparison
“Someone once called me ‘the poor man’s Robin Williams,’” he recounts. “I said, ‘You know Robin was poor too, right?’” This joke highlights Bobcat’s ability to address comparisons with humor, acknowledging his influences while asserting his uniqueness.
13. Joke 13: Directorial Success
“I directed a movie once,” Bobcat says. “People asked me, ‘What’s it about?’ I said, ‘I don’t know! I was just happy no one got hurt on set.’” A humorous take on his directorial ventures, prioritizing safety over storytelling.
14. Joke 14: Audition Challenge
“I once auditioned for a serious role,” Bobcat recalls. “The casting director said, ‘Can you read that again, but… not sound like yourself?’” This anecdote humorously reveals the challenges he faced in breaking away from his distinctive comedic persona.
15. Joke 15: Morning Coffee Machine
“You know you’re not a morning person,” Bobcat jokes. “When even your coffee machine sighs when it sees you coming.” His ability to personify appliances adds humor to the universal struggle of waking up, highlighting his talent for observational comedy.
16. Joke 16: Weird Growth Choices
“When you grow up weird,” he quips, “you either become funny or start collecting swords. I chose comedy. Barely.” This reflects his embrace of eccentricity, humorously acknowledging the quirky paths life can take.
17. Joke 17: Comedic Therapy
“I love that people think therapy is expensive,” Bobcat notes. “Try being a comedian—you pay to get on stage and strangers yell at you for 15 minutes.” His insight into the emotional cost of comedy is both poignant and hilarious.
18. Joke 18: Yoga Struggles
“I once tried yoga,” Bobcat laughs. “The instructor said, ‘Listen to your body.’ My body was like, ‘What are you doing? Get up! We don’t bend that way!’” This joke highlights his comedic take on the challenge of yoga and physical limitations.
19. Joke 19: Wi-Fi Nostalgia
“People ask if I miss the old days,” Bobcat reflects. “I don’t miss perms, mullets, or answering machines. But I do miss a time when nobody cared about Wi-Fi passwords.” A humorous nod to past simplicity amidst modern connectivity challenges.