Back in Time Today
Elayne Boosler broke barriers with her razor-sharp wit and fearless take on politics, relationships, and everyday absurdity. She made you laugh while making you think—and maybe rethink. Here are 19 jokes in her fierce, funny, and fabulously feminist style.
1. Wallet, Keys, and Stability
They say behind every great man is a woman. Yeah, holding his wallet, keys, and emotional stability.
Imagine the strength of a woman who not only keeps things together but also keeps them going. She’s the unsung hero, the quiet powerhouse in the wings. With a smirk that could launch ships, she knows the real secret to greatness isn’t behind; it’s beside. In this subtle dance of support and power, she holds the reins. These aren’t just objects; they’re symbols of trust, responsibility, and a little bit of chaos control.
2. Feelings App Download
I asked my boyfriend to be more emotionally available, and he said, “I downloaded a feelings app.” Close, but no.
It’s the modern twist on emotional detachment, where technology meets human interaction. The irony is palpable. The expectation of emotional depth boils down to an app. It’s like finding gourmet in a fast-food joint. This joke highlights the gap between intention and execution, where the heart yearns for connection but settles for a digital substitute. It’s a snapshot of today’s dating landscape, where empathy might just be a few clicks away.
3. Exercise and Manners
I went to the doctor and he said, “You need more exercise.” I said, “You need better bedside manners.”
Here’s the classic stand-off between patient and practitioner. It’s where health advice meets humor, and wit wins. In a world of weariness, sometimes the best medicine is a dose of sarcasm. This exchange isn’t just about physical health; it’s about the gentle art of communication. While the doctor prescribes movement, she prescribes empathy, reminding us that healing is both an art and a science.
4. Pattern Recognition
I don’t have trust issues. I have pattern recognition.
Step into the realm of the perceptive, where every encounter is an equation, every experience a clue. In this world, past actions are data points leading to a more predictable future. Trust isn’t just given; it’s calculated, a result of patterns observed and deciphered. This joke flips the narrative, transforming doubt into a skill, a talent honed over time. It’s not fear that guides her, but a keen eye for detail, making sense of the chaos called life.
5. Backlog of Words
They say women talk too much. Sure. After centuries of not being allowed to talk, we’ve got a little backlog.
Here’s the echo of history, where silence once reigned. Now, every word is a declaration, a revolution against the void. This joke is not just about speech; it’s about liberation, about the floodgates of expression opening wide. Each sentence is a step forward, reclaiming space that was once denied. What some see as chatter, others recognize as the music of freedom, a testament to resilience and voice.
6. Impressing with Support
I wore heels to impress a guy. Five minutes in, I realized I’d rather impress myself with arch support.
In the world of fashion versus function, this joke finds its footing. Here, self-awareness trumps societal expectations. It’s the journey from discomfort to delight, where style bows to substance. Her realization isn’t just about shoes; it’s about choosing comfort over conformity. In those moments, she finds empowerment in practicality, redefining what it means to truly impress. After all, confidence pairs better with comfort.
7. Independence Door
I dated a guy who said I was “too independent.” So I showed him the door—and opened it myself.
Independence is her anthem, a song sung with clarity and conviction. In this joke, autonomy takes the spotlight. It’s not just about opening doors but about opening possibilities, where self-reliance meets freedom. Her action speaks volumes, a testament to strength and self-worth. Here, independence isn’t just a trait; it’s a declaration, a choice to live on her terms, unapologetically and authentically.
8. Why Settle?
People ask, “When are you settling down?” I say, “Why settle?”
This is the anthem of the adventurous, the motto of the modern wanderer. For her, settling isn’t an option, but a limitation. Life is a journey, not a destination, filled with endless possibilities and unparalleled experiences. Her answer isn’t just a rebuttal; it’s an invitation to explore, to live beyond the lines drawn by others. It’s about embracing uncertainty and finding joy in the unexpected, living life to the fullest, one adventure at a time.
9. Wrong Right Turn
My GPS said, “Turn right.” My instincts said, “He’s not the one.”
Only one of them was correct. Navigation takes on a new meaning, where love and logic intersect. In this joke, directions aren’t just about roads, but about relationships. It’s a story of intuition versus technology, where the heart often knows best. She learns that maps can show the way, but instincts reveal the truth. This isn’t just a missed turn; it’s a lesson in listening, to one’s inner voice, guiding her to where she truly belongs.
10. Grilling and Rightness
I tried online dating. I matched with a guy who listed his hobbies as “grilling” and “being right.”
In the digital dating realm, profiles become the first impression. Here, hobbies speak louder than words, painting a picture of self-assuredness and a love for precision-cooked cuisine. The humor lies in the duality of interests, where confidence meets culinary skills. It’s a playful take on modern romance, where swipes and likes are preludes to real-life quirks. In this dance of data and desire, sometimes the perfect match is just a barbecue away.
11. Salad at BBQ
I brought a salad to a barbecue. People looked at me like I brought a lawsuit.
In a world of burgers and brats, the salad stands alone, a beacon of health amidst hearty indulgence. This joke captures the clash of expectations and the courage to stand out. It’s about choices, both culinary and personal, and the humor in defying norms. The salad becomes a symbol of individuality, a testament to taste and tenacity. In the sizzling smoke of a grill, it’s a reminder that every party needs a touch of green.
12. Proper Maintenance
I’m not high-maintenance. I’m properly maintained—like a vintage convertible with boundaries.
Here’s a spin on self-care and self-worth. The humor lies in the comparison, where maintaining oneself is akin to preserving classic elegance. It’s about pride in presentation and the understanding that care is an act of love. This joke elevates the concept of maintenance, turning it from a flaw into a feature. Like a well-tuned engine, she knows the value of boundaries and the beauty in being both vintage and vibrant.
13. Funnier Woman
Men say they want a woman with a sense of humor—until she’s funnier than they are.
In this comedic conundrum, laughter takes center stage. It’s not just about jokes, but about the power dynamics of wit. Here, humor becomes her superpower, challenging the status quo. The punchline isn’t just in the laugh, but in the disruption of expectations. It’s a reminder that humor is both a shield and a sword, where she commands the stage with confidence. The laughter she evokes is both an affirmation and a revolution.
14. Knees and Weather
I’ve reached an age where my knees forecast the weather better than the news.
This humorous take on aging invites us to see beyond the wrinkles and aches. It’s where humor meets reality, in a blend of acceptance and wit. Her knees become the barometer, an intimate connection to nature’s whims. The joke is a nod to the inevitable passage of time, where humor softens the edges. It’s an acceptance of life’s transitions, viewed through the lens of laughter, where age brings not just wisdom, but a unique kind of weather report.
15. Acting My Age
Someone told me I “don’t act my age.” I said, “Good. I’ve seen what my age acts like. I’m trying to be better.”
Here’s a spirited declaration for living life on one’s own terms. It’s not just defiance but joy, a celebration of individuality. The humor lies in rejecting stereotypes, where age is just a number, not a definition. This joke is a call to action, encouraging us to break free from societal molds. It’s about embracing the essence of youth, no matter what the calendar says, with a wink and a smile.
16. Customer Always Right?
They say the customer is always right. Not if they’re yelling in a return line holding a ferret and a waffle iron.
This joke is a snapshot of retail reality, where logic sometimes takes a back seat. It’s a humorous critique of consumer culture, where the absurd becomes the norm. The scene unfolds like a comic strip, with exaggerated characters and improbable situations. It’s a reminder that rightness is often subjective, in a world where expectations clash with reality. Humor, in this case, becomes a survival tactic.
17. Wrinkles and Concealer
I used to be afraid of getting wrinkles. Now I’m afraid of running out of concealer and grace.
Here’s a reflection on beauty and aging, where laughter becomes the best cosmetic. It’s about shifting fears and priorities, embracing imperfections with humor. The concealer is a metaphor, not just for covering lines, but for navigating life’s changes. Grace becomes the ultimate accessory, a testament to inner beauty. This joke is a gentle reminder that age is an art, where each wrinkle tells a story, softened by the brush of humor.
18. Interrupted Dollar
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve been interrupted, I’d finally get to finish a sentence.
This is the anthem of the endlessly interrupted, where each pause holds potential. It’s not just about silence, but the value of voice. The dollar becomes a symbol of unspoken words, a currency of communication. This joke captures the essence of frustration and humor, a balancing act of patience and persistence. It’s a call for space in conversations, where voices find their rhythm, and every word is worth its weight in gold.
19. Laughter as Weapon
Laughter is a weapon. And I’m fully armed.
This is a battle cry of joy, where humor becomes the ultimate tool. It’s not just about defense, but offense, where laughter breaks barriers and builds bridges. In this world, a joke is more than words; it’s a catalyst for change, a spark that ignites understanding. Her laughter is a symphony, composed of resilience and rebellion. This joke is a reminder that in the face of adversity, humor becomes a shield and spear, empowering and uniting those who wield it.