Mo’Nique: 19 Hilarious Jokes from the Queen of Keeping It Real

Entertainment
By Samuel Cole

Mo’Nique is a powerhouse comedian known for her bold, unapologetic humor and sharp observations on life, love, and everything in between.

Whether she’s talking about relationships, self-love, or the struggles of everyday life, she always keeps it real. Here are 19 of her funniest jokes that showcase her fearless comedy.

1. Running Negotiations

© IMDb

Mo’Nique quips, “People say, ‘Mo’Nique, you should work out!’ Look, I don’t run unless something is chasing me, and even then, I negotiate first.” Her comedic genius lies in taking a common encouragement and flipping it into a hilarious scenario where she negotiates with danger.

This joke resonates with those who find humor in the idea of bypassing exercise and the playful notion of negotiating with imaginary threats. The imagery is vivid, showing her quick wit and unique perspective on fitness. It’s a delightful reminder that humor can make light of even the most mundane activities.

2. Slow Eating Diet

© Entertainment Tonight

Mo’Nique humorously says, “I don’t diet. I just eat slower and hope my stomach gets bored before I finish.” This joke showcases her ability to find humor in everyday habits, like eating. By poking fun at dieting, she highlights a playful approach to food, suggesting that patience might outsmart hunger.

It’s a clever take on the often daunting concept of dieting, offering a humorous escape from the pressures of maintaining a strict regime. Her comedic timing and the relatable nature of the joke make it both engaging and endearing, resonating with anyone familiar with dieting struggles.

3. Crying Kids in Public

© Vulture

Mo’Nique observes, “You ever be out in public and a kid starts crying? I’m not the one to judge, but I will give that parent the ‘Better handle that’ look.” Her humor here is relatable to anyone who’s encountered a public tantrum.

She captures the silent communication between adults and the universal understanding of such situations. The joke deftly uses observational comedy, highlighting her ability to turn everyday experiences into laughter. Mo’Nique’s comedic brilliance lies in her expression and timing, making even a mundane shopping trip an opportunity for humor.

4. Warm Curves

© NPR

Mo’Nique proudly states, “I love my curves. You know why? Because they keep me warm in the winter and make me unforgettable in the summer.” Her humor celebrates body positivity, efficiently capturing the essence of self-love and confidence.

This joke challenges societal norms around body image by presenting her curves as assets rather than flaws. It’s a witty commentary on how personal attributes can be both functional and memorable. Mo’Nique’s ability to create humor while advocating for self-acceptance is what makes this joke both funny and empowering.

5. Sharing Food in Marriage

© ABC News – The Walt Disney Company

Mo’Nique jokes, “Marriage is great, but let’s be honest—who came up with the idea of sharing food? That’s the real test of love right there.” Her humor shines through by questioning everyday relationship dynamics.

By turning the common marital experience of sharing into a comedic moment, she adds a new dimension to the challenge of love and marriage. It’s both a humorous take on sharing and a subtle nod to the deeper aspects of partnership. Her ability to find comedy in ordinary marital situations makes this joke resonate with couples who share similar sentiments.

6. Handing Over the Remote

© E! News

Mo’Nique remarks, “My husband tried to tell me what to do. I just laughed and handed him the remote—so he could feel like he was in charge of something.” This joke hilariously portrays marital dynamics, using the TV remote as a symbol of control. Her wit is evident in how she turns a potential conflict into a lighthearted moment.

The humor lies in her portrayal of power balance within relationships, where a simple gesture speaks volumes. Mo’Nique’s comedy often reflects real-life situations, and this joke is no exception, making it relatable and laugh-out-loud funny.

7. Kids and Selective Hearing

© Deadline

Mo’Nique humorously observes, “I love kids, but they will test you. Like, why do they never hear you say ‘clean your room’ but hear you whisper ‘ice cream’ from across the house?” This joke captures the selective hearing many parents experience with their children. Her comedic insight into the contrasting behaviors of kids offers a relatable and humorous perspective.

The joke taps into a universal parenting challenge, with Mo’Nique’s unique delivery adding humor and charm. By highlighting these everyday occurrences, she creates a connection with audiences who appreciate the light-hearted take on family life.

8. Modern Grandma Struggles

© Chicago Defender

Mo’Nique shares, “When my grandma said, ‘These kids today don’t know struggle,’ I had to remind her she had Wi-Fi and an iPad. You ain’t struggling either, Big Mama.” This joke cleverly juxtaposes generational perceptions of hardship with modern technology. Her humor shines through as she playfully challenges the notion of struggle in the digital age.

By highlighting her grandma’s tech-savvy lifestyle, she brings attention to the irony of modern conveniences. Mo’Nique’s ability to address generational differences with humor and respect makes this joke both funny and thought-provoking.

9. Social Media Perfection

© Vulture

Mo’Nique humorously critiques, “The problem with social media is everybody wants to look perfect. Nobody posts their real-life struggles—like burning dinner or tripping over nothing.” Her joke wittily exposes the curated perfection on social media platforms.

By pointing out the lack of authenticity, she highlights the humorous disparity between online personas and real life. Her comedic approach encourages audiences to embrace imperfection and laugh at themselves. Mo’Nique’s insightful commentary on digital culture resonates with anyone tired of the facade, making this joke both relevant and timeless.

10. Gym Confusion

© KSNV

Mo’Nique jokes, “You ever go to the gym and just sit on the machine like, ‘This looks complicated. I think I’ll just walk around and nod like I know what I’m doing’?” Her humor captures the common gym intimidation many feel.

This joke cleverly taps into the self-consciousness experienced by gym-goers, making light of the unfamiliarity with exercise equipment. Mo’Nique’s candid humor and relatable scenarios provide comfort, letting audiences know they’re not alone in their gym struggles. Her ability to transform these shared experiences into comedy makes this joke both comforting and humorous.

11. Dress for Success

© Los Angeles Times

Mo’Nique quips, “They say, ‘Dress for the job you want.’ If that’s true, I’m showing up in pajamas because I want to be a rich person who never leaves the house.” Her humor cleverly challenges conventional career advice with a touch of wishful thinking.

By visualizing a life of luxury and leisure, she turns a common motivational saying on its head. Mo’Nique’s joke resonates with anyone who dreams of a more relaxed lifestyle, offering a humorous escape from reality. Her signature wit and relatability make this joke both funny and aspirational.

12. Sweet Tea Hydration

© Entertainment Tonight

Mo’Nique humorously states, “People tell me to drink more water. But you know what’s mostly water? Sweet tea. So I’m basically a health guru.” Her joke brings a comedic twist to the health advice often heard. By equating sweet tea with water, she humorously blurs the lines between indulgence and wellness.

This joke playfully questions health trends, with Mo’Nique’s delivery adding charm and wit. Her ability to find humor in everyday advice offers a refreshing perspective, making audiences laugh while subtly challenging health norms. It’s a delightful reminder of her comedic brilliance.

13. Sweatpants and Aging

© Vulture

Mo’Nique humorously notes, “You know you’re getting older when your idea of a good time is canceling plans and putting on sweatpants.” Her joke encapsulates the comfort and simplicity that often comes with age. By celebrating the joys of relaxation, she connects with those who cherish quiet, cozy nights in.

Mo’Nique’s humor resonates with audiences who appreciate the shift in priorities that aging brings. Her ability to find comedy in these small lifestyle changes makes this joke both relatable and heartwarming, reminding us of the pleasures in life’s simple moments.

14. Morning Reality

© Entertainment Weekly

Mo’Nique quips, “I love how people always say, ‘I woke up like this.’ No, you didn’t. I woke up looking like a crime scene and needed 30 minutes just to recognize myself.” Her humor shines through as she pokes fun at the unrealistic expectations of morning perfection.

By humorously depicting her own morning routine, she connects with those who understand the struggle of waking up. Mo’Nique’s candidness and delivery add a unique charm, making this joke both funny and endearing. It’s a playful reminder that reality doesn’t always match the idealized portrayals we often see.

15. Healthy Eating Attempt

© Selak Entertainment, Inc.

Mo’Nique jokes, “I told my husband, ‘Let’s eat healthier.’ He said, ‘I got you, babe,’ and brought home a Diet Coke and a large pizza.” Her humor highlights the common disconnect in lifestyle changes within relationships.

By playfully addressing the gap between intentions and actions, she creates a relatable comedic moment. Mo’Nique’s joke resonates with anyone who’s tried to instigate change but faced humorous resistance. Her ability to turn everyday interactions into comedy showcases her keen observation skills and relatable humor, making this joke both funny and memorable.

16. Noisy Knees

© TheGrio

Mo’Nique humorously observes, “The worst part of getting older is realizing your knees make more noise than your music.” Her joke cleverly captures the physical changes that come with aging, making light of a common experience.

By humorously comparing noisy knees to music, she turns a potential frustration into a source of laughter. Mo’Nique’s ability to find humor in the aging process makes audiences appreciate her comedic perspective on life’s inevitable changes. Her witty delivery and relatable content ensure this joke’s resonance with anyone familiar with the quirks of aging.

17. Winging Adulthood

© Britannica

Mo’Nique shares, “When I was a kid, I thought adults had all the answers. Now I realize we’re all just winging it and hoping no one notices.” Her humor exposes the reality of adulthood, where certainty is often elusive.

By admitting the shared experience of uncertainty, she connects with audiences who resonate with the candid truth of ‘winging it.’ Mo’Nique’s insightful humor and relatable scenarios offer comfort to those navigating adult life. Her joke is a humorous reminder that even in adulthood, people often improvise, and that’s perfectly okay.

18. Technology Fixer

© KLCC

Mo’Nique jokes, “I love my family, but if they call me one more time to ‘fix’ their technology, I’m gonna start charging a service fee.” Her humor highlights the common role many play as the unofficial tech support for family.

By playfully addressing the expectations placed on tech-savvy individuals, she creates a relatable comedic scenario. Mo’Nique’s ability to find humor in everyday family interactions showcases her observational skills. Her joke resonates with anyone who’s found themselves in similar situations, offering a lighthearted take on family dynamics and the challenges of tech reliance.

19. Dancing for Deliciousness

© Plex

Mo’Nique humorously notes, “You ever eat something so good you start dancing? That’s when you know the meal is hitting right. If I’m not shimmying, send it back.” Her joke captures the joyous experience of enjoying a delicious meal.

By playfully illustrating the connection between food and happiness, she engages audiences with her animated humor. Mo’Nique’s candidness and relatable scenarios make this joke both delightful and endearing. Her ability to translate the exuberance of good food into comedy showcases her unique perspective and comedic talent, leaving audiences with a smile.