Words from Mom and Dad: 23 That Built Us Up—and 7 That Broke Us Down

Culture & Society
By Jasmine Hughes

Parents shape our world with more than rules and routines—they do it with words. Some of those phrases become a lifelong compass, guiding us through challenges and cheering us through victories. Others… well, they left dents we didn’t understand until years later. Here are 30 memorable phrases parents have passed down—23 that helped us grow and 7 that still sting.

1. “I believe in you.”

© University of Chicago News

In moments of self-doubt, this phrase was a beacon of hope. It didn’t require lengthy explanations; it was the simple assurance that someone had faith in us. These words carried us through storms of uncertainty, bolstering our courage.

It was the gentle push we needed to face challenges head-on, knowing that we weren’t alone in our journey. This phrase became the foundation of self-worth and resilience.

2. “It’s okay to cry.”

© Parents

Crying was never a sign of weakness but rather an expression of authenticity. This phrase gave us permission to feel, to let emotions flow without judgment. Coming from a tough dad or a busy mom, it was a reminder of the strength in vulnerability.

Tears became a language of healing, and this phrase taught us that it’s okay to embrace our emotions. It was the heart’s way of finding solace in the chaos.

3. “You did your best, and that’s what matters.”

© Raising Children Network

Not every endeavor ended in victory, but effort was always celebrated. This phrase was a balm for the wounded spirit, acknowledging that striving is as important as succeeding. In a world chasing perfection, it was a relief to know that trying was enough.

Our parents’ recognition of our hard work fueled our determination to persevere. It was a reminder that self-worth isn’t measured by trophies but by the courage to give our all.

4. “Stand up for what’s right.”

© Stand for Children

This phrase instilled a moral compass, guiding us to be advocates for justice. Whether in the playground or the boardroom, it taught us to champion fairness. It encouraged the courage to speak up, even when voices trembled.

Parents’ words became the backbone of integrity, urging us to make a difference. It was a call to action, a reminder that standing up for others defines our character.

5. “Always say thank you.”

© WeHaveKids

Gratitude became second nature, thanks to this simple yet profound phrase. It was a reminder that kindness begins with appreciation. Saying thank you bridged gaps and built connections, fostering a world of goodwill.

In moments of receiving and giving, these words became a mantra. They taught us that recognizing others’ efforts is a gift that enriches both the giver and the receiver.

6. “Treat others the way you want to be treated.”

© Making Caring Common

The golden rule, engraved in our hearts by our parents, shaped our interactions. It was a reminder to approach others with empathy and respect. In a world often divided, this phrase united us in kindness.

It taught us to consider the impact of our actions, fostering understanding and unity. This timeless principle became the foundation of our relationships, embodying the essence of compassion.

7. “Don’t give up.”

© First Five Years

Simple yet powerful, this phrase was a lifeline in moments of struggle. It urged us to persevere when the path seemed insurmountable. It was a gentle reminder that setbacks are stepping stones to success.

Our parents’ voices echoed with encouragement, pushing us to defy the odds. This phrase became a mantra of resilience, urging us to keep moving forward despite challenges.

8. “Take your time.”

© Focus on the Family

In a world racing against the clock, this phrase was a breath of fresh air. It reminded us that life unfolds at its own pace. It was a gentle nudge to savor moments and embrace the beauty of the journey.

Parents’ words became a balm for the hurried soul, encouraging mindfulness. This phrase taught us that rushing isn’t always better, and patience is a virtue worth cultivating.

9. “Use your words.”

© Parents

A toddler command that quietly turned into emotional intelligence training. Parents knew that words have power, and this phrase encouraged us to articulate our needs and emotions.

It was a foundation for effective communication, teaching us to express ourselves clearly. This phrase became a stepping stone toward understanding and connection, fostering meaningful relationships.

10. “I’m proud of you.”

© LoveToKnow

Whether said often or just once, these words were a touchstone for self-worth. They became the anchor of our achievements, big or small. Hearing this phrase was like receiving a badge of honor that fueled our confidence.

It was a gentle affirmation that our efforts were recognized and valued. This phrase reminded us that pride isn’t about perfection but about the journey of growth.

11. “Money doesn’t grow on trees.”

© RMCU Financial Tips – Rocky Mountain Credit Union

A folksy phrase that taught us responsibility, even if we rolled our eyes. It was a reminder that resources are finite and should be managed wisely.

Parents used these words to instill financial awareness, guiding us to appreciate what we have. It was a lesson in resourcefulness, showing us that money requires effort and mindfulness.

12. “If you’re going to do something, do it right.”

© Raising Children Network

A work ethic mantra disguised as a chore complaint. This phrase encouraged us to approach tasks with dedication and integrity.

It taught us the value of thoroughness and excellence, fostering a sense of pride in our work. Parents’ words became a guiding principle, urging us to take pride in what we do.

13. “Be kind to your brother/sister.”

© The Gottman Institute

Sibling truce attempts that turned into lessons in family loyalty. This phrase emphasized the importance of nurturing relationships within the family.

It was a reminder that kindness begins at home, fostering a sense of belonging and unity. Parents’ words became a foundation for building strong connections with our loved ones.

14. “Learn from your mistakes.”

© First 5 California

Mistakes were never the problem; staying stuck was. This phrase encouraged growth by turning errors into stepping stones.

Our parents’ wisdom taught us that failure is a part of the learning process. It was a reminder that every misstep brought valuable insights, guiding us toward improvement and resilience.

15. “It’s okay not to know everything.”

© UVA Today – The University of Virginia

Relief from the pressure to be perfect, this phrase embraced the beauty of curiosity. It was a green light to ask questions and seek knowledge without fear.

Parents’ words became a sanctuary of exploration, encouraging us to discover the world. This phrase taught us that learning is a lifelong journey, and it’s okay to embrace the unknown.

16. “Try again.”

© PBS

So simple, yet so powerful. This phrase was a rallying cry for resilience, urging us to rise after each fall.

Parents’ encouragement became the fuel for our perseverance, reminding us that success often requires multiple attempts. It was a gentle push to keep striving, even when the first “no” seemed insurmountable.

17. “Be the bigger person.”

© Brightwheel

The phrase that taught us how to walk away with dignity. It encouraged emotional maturity, reminding us that strength isn’t always in retaliation.

Parents’ wisdom guided us to choose peace over conflict, fostering inner strength. This phrase became a beacon of integrity, showing us the power of grace in difficult situations.

18. “I love you no matter what.”

© Reframing Autism

The ultimate anchor, whether said daily or quietly understood. This phrase was a testament to unwavering love and acceptance.

Parents’ words became a source of comfort and security, reminding us that love isn’t conditional. It was a reassurance that we were cherished, no matter the circumstances.

19. “You’re stronger than you think.”

© Greator

The phrase that kept us going, especially when self-doubt loomed large. It was a reminder that we possess resilience beyond measure.

Parents’ belief in our capabilities became a source of empowerment, urging us to defy limitations. This phrase became a mantra of inner strength, encouraging us to push boundaries.

20. “Don’t compare yourself to others.”

© BetterUp

A grounding reminder in a world obsessed with keeping score. This phrase encouraged self-acceptance and individuality.

Parents’ words liberated us from the pressure of comparison, fostering a sense of self-worth. It was a call to appreciate our unique journey, unburdened by the expectations of others.

21. “Do your best—that’s all I ask.”

© The MOM Trotter

No pressure to be perfect, just encouragement to keep trying. This phrase was a beacon of acceptance, acknowledging effort over outcomes.

Parents’ support became a source of motivation, urging us to give our all. It was a reminder that dedication is valued above perfection.

22. “I’m here for you.”

© Parentline

The phrase that meant we weren’t alone, even when the world felt too big. It was a promise of support and presence.

Parents’ words became a sanctuary of comfort, reminding us of their unwavering presence. This phrase reassured us that we could face life’s challenges with a trusted ally by our side.

23. “You can be anything you want to be.”

© Mums At The Table

This timeless encouragement was like wind beneath our wings, propelling us toward limitless horizons. With dreams of becoming astronauts or artists, this phrase instilled the belief that the universe was ours to explore. It was a gentle nudge to dream big and aim high.

Our parents’ voices echoed with unwavering faith, reminding us that our aspirations were valid and achievable. In a world full of limitations, these words were the key to unlocking our potential.

24. “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.”

© RNZ

Meant to quiet the noise, this phrase only taught us to bottle pain. It silenced our emotions, making vulnerability feel like a weakness.

The harshness of these words lingered, leaving scars that took years to heal. It was a lesson in hiding hurt rather than expressing it.

25. “Because I said so.”

© Psychology Today

Sometimes necessary, but overused, it made curiosity feel like rebellion. This phrase shut down exploration and understanding.

Parents’ words created a barrier to open communication, leaving questions unanswered. It was a reminder that authority doesn’t always need an explanation.

26. “Why can’t you be more like your sibling?”

© Family Central

The dagger of comparison, quiet, sharp, and lasting. This phrase sowed seeds of inadequacy and resentment.

Parents’ words became a shadow over individuality, fostering rivalry instead of harmony. It was a painful reminder of unmet expectations.

27. “You’re too sensitive.”

© A Beautiful Soul Holistic Counseling

These words invalidated feelings, making us question our emotional instincts. It was a dismissal of our authentic selves.

Parents’ words echoed with unintended harshness, leaving wounds that shaped our self-perception. It was a lesson in hiding vulnerability rather than embracing it.

28. “You’ll never amount to anything.”

© Parents

Few words cut deeper or linger longer. This phrase diminished dreams and aspirations.

Parents’ words left scars that took years to heal, fostering a sense of inadequacy. It was a painful reminder of unmet potential.

29. “Don’t talk back.”

© National Geographic

It shut down communication, even when understanding was all we sought. This phrase stifled curiosity and dialogue.

Parents’ words created a wall between hearts, leaving questions unasked. It was a reminder that silence isn’t always golden.

30. “You’re fine.”

© Psychology Today

Dismissive when we weren’t, it taught us to hide hurt. These words minimized our struggles, making emotions feel invalid.

Parents’ words created a barrier to open communication, leaving us feeling unseen. It was a painful lesson in masking pain rather than expressing it.