Back in Time Today
Remember the days before smartphones and the internet, when kids had to earn their TV time? The 1980s weren’t just about neon colors and big hair – they came with a whole list of dreaded chores that made us roll our eyes and drag our feet. These household responsibilities taught us responsibility (or so our parents claimed), but they definitely weren’t what we wanted to be doing when friends were waiting outside to play.
1. Rewinding VHS Tapes Before Returning
The dreaded “Be Kind, Rewind” sticker haunted every rental. Sitting through that painfully slow mechanical whirring seemed to take forever, especially when you were already late returning the tape to Blockbuster. If you forgot? Hello, $1.00 fine – practically highway robbery to an ’80s kid! Some families splurged on special rewinding machines shaped like race cars, but most of us just had to wait, watching that little counter slowly tick backward.
2. Answering the Family Phone
Nothing struck fear like the ring of that kitchen wall phone during dinner. Your job? Take messages accurately on that little notepad next to it, spelling names correctly and writing down every number. Mess up and Dad might miss an important work call! The pressure was real, especially with the long spiraling cord that never quite reached where you wanted. And if it was for your sister? The temptation to hang up was almost too much to resist.
3. Defrosting the Freezer
Armed with bowls, towels, and a hair dryer, this miserable task meant emptying the entire freezer first. Then came the waiting game as ice slowly melted, dripping everywhere despite your best efforts. Your fingers went numb chipping at stubborn ice chunks with a plastic scraper. The worst part? That weird freezer smell that filled the kitchen. Meanwhile, mom worried about the ice cream melting, adding even more pressure to this already tedious chore.
4. Programming the VCR
Mom and Dad bought a VCR but had absolutely no idea how to use it. Guess who became the family’s technical expert by default? You! Setting up recordings meant deciphering that impossibly complicated instruction manual and punching in precise times on tiny buttons. The pressure was immense – mess up and miss recording Dad’s favorite show? Prepare for the disappointment speech! Plus, the clock was always blinking 12:00 because nobody could figure out how to set it properly.
5. Washing Dishes By Hand
The mountain of crusty plates after family dinner meant your hands would be pruney for hours. First came scraping food scraps into the trash, then filling the sink with scalding water and that weird-smelling dish soap. Greasy pans were the absolute worst – no amount of scrubbing seemed to get them clean! The final indignity? Having to fish unknown soggy things out of the drain catcher. Meanwhile, your siblings somehow always escaped to watch TV while you stood there, up to your elbows in suds.
6. Mowing the Lawn with a Push Mower
Saturday mornings weren’t for cartoons if Dad decided today was mowing day. That heavy metal monster required serious muscle to push, especially when the grass was damp. The deafening roar meant you couldn’t even listen to your Walkman while working. Sweating under the summer sun, you’d create those perfect lines across the yard, only to have Dad point out the spots you missed. The final torture? Having to empty those grass clippings without spilling them everywhere.
7. Untangling Cassette Tape Ribbons
Your favorite mix tape just got eaten by the cassette player – again! Rescuing it meant carefully extracting the mangled ribbon without snapping it, then using a pencil to painstakingly wind it back into the plastic housing. One wrong move and your carefully curated music collection was history! The tiny screws holding the cassette together required surgeon-like precision to remove and replace. Hours of work just to save that one special song you recorded off the radio after waiting all day to hear it.
8. Dusting Dad’s Record Collection
Those vinyl albums were apparently more valuable than gold, according to your father. Each weekend, you’d carefully remove every single record from its sleeve, dust it without touching the grooves, then replace it exactly as you found it. Heaven forbid you mix up the order or put one back in the wrong cover! The special cleaning cloth had to be used just right – no regular dusters allowed near these precious treasures. The reward for this tedious task? Maybe being allowed to actually play one record… if you were extremely careful.
9. Cleaning Your Room Before Company Arrived
“Aunt Marge will be here in an hour!” Mom’s panic-inducing announcement meant speed-cleaning like never before. This wasn’t regular cleaning – this was company cleaning, which meant even stuff under the bed had to disappear. Shoving everything into the closet wouldn’t work because Mom always checked there first. The worst part? After all that work, the relatives barely glanced at your room anyway! Just when you thought you were done, Mom would spot something tiny you missed and make you start over.
10. Folding Endless Piles of Laundry
Laundry day meant mountains of warm clothes dumped on your bed that had to be sorted and folded before you could sleep. Matching socks was like an impossible puzzle – where did all the partners go? Folding fitted sheets? Pure magic that no kid ever mastered. Dad’s underwear was gross to touch, and Mom’s delicates were embarrassing. The final indignity came when you had to deliver neatly folded stacks to everyone’s rooms, only to watch your brother immediately dump his into a drawer anyway.
11. Taking Out the Garbage
The kitchen trash was always mysteriously full right after you sat down to watch your favorite show. Hauling that leaking bag outside in the dark was terrifying – what creatures lurked by the garbage cans? Summer garbage was the absolute worst, with mystery liquids dripping down your leg and smells that made you gag. The true test of strength? Lifting the heavy metal lid without making a racket that would wake the neighbors. And if the bag ripped? You’d be picking up disgusting trash while trying not to throw up.
12. Polishing the Family Silver
Grandma’s precious silverware only appeared for special occasions, but somehow needed polishing constantly. That weird-smelling cream turned your fingers black and stained your clothes if you weren’t careful. Each fork, knife, and spoon required individual attention with a tiny cloth, rubbing until your arm ached. The worst were those intricate handles with all the little crevices! Mom would inspect each piece under the bright kitchen light, finding tarnish spots you somehow missed and sending you back to do it again.
13. Cleaning Between the Console TV Buttons
That massive wooden console television was the family’s pride and joy – and apparently a magnet for mysterious gunk between the channel buttons. Armed with Q-tips and your mom’s special cleaning solution, you’d meticulously dig out crud from around each plastic button. One slip and you might break something important! The wood veneer needed special polish that couldn’t touch the screen. The worst part? Having to move that impossibly heavy TV to clean behind it, where dust bunnies multiplied like, well, bunnies.
14. Alphabetizing Dad’s Cassette Collection
Your father’s precious music collection demanded proper organization – by artist, then by album title. One wrong placement and you’d face the disappointment speech about “respect for music” and “proper organization.” Those tiny cassette spines were nearly impossible to read, and artists with “The” at the beginning presented philosophical filing dilemmas. The plastic storage racks always had that one broken slot that would send tapes tumbling like dominoes. Just when you finished, Dad would buy new tapes and you’d have to reorganize everything again!
15. Delivering Newspaper Routes
Paper routes weren’t just chores – they were crack-of-dawn torture sessions. Stuffing inserts into papers while half-asleep, then loading that impossibly heavy canvas bag across your bike handlebars. Rain, snow, or shine, those papers had to be delivered before people left for work. Dogs seemed to sense newspaper day, waiting to chase you down the street. The worst houses were those with long driveways or weird instructions like “behind the flowerpot.” Collection days meant awkward conversations with adults who claimed they already paid, even when they hadn’t.