Back in Time Today
Lavell Crawford is a comedic force of nature known for his booming voice, expressive delivery, and storytelling style. His humor springs from everyday challenges—food, family, and surviving life’s simplest tasks.
Here are 19 of his most hilarious jokes that showcase why Lavell is a stand-up giant in the comedy world.
1. Jogging Attempt
I tried jogging one time. Not a marathon, not a mile—just around the block. Made it two houses down, and my legs filed for divorce. I was breathing like I’d just outrun the cops while carrying a sofa. Folks walking their dogs were like, ‘You okay?’ I said, ‘Yeah, I’m training for the apocalypse.’
The struggle was real, and the neighbors got a show. Not a running start but a comedic journey. By the end, I realized that running wasn’t my thing, but making people laugh? Now that I could run with.
2. Weight Loss Reunion
My doctor told me to lose weight. I said, ‘Doc, I lost 5 pounds.’ He said, ‘That’s great!’ I said, ‘Yeah, then I found them again in a double bacon cheeseburger with a milkshake on the side. It was a reunion. Very emotional.’
The journey of losing and gaining weight is as tumultuous as it is funny. Lavell paints this cycle with humor and reality, reminding us that weight loss adventures can be as hilarious as they are challenging. Who can resist the charm of a cheeseburger reunion?
3. Portion Control Challenge
People always talk about portion control. I do control my portions—I portion them right onto a dinner plate, then a second plate, and maybe a third. Then I sit down like I’m judging a food competition. ‘Let’s see what my wife cooked today. Presentation: amazing. Taste: needs more hot sauce. Calories: none of your business.’
Lavell takes eating to an art form, turning meals into comedic events. Every bite is a performance, every meal an opportunity to entertain. Portion control, in his hands, becomes a delightful spectacle.
4. Juice Cleanse Hallucinations
I tried one of them juice cleanses. By day two, I was hallucinating ribs. I thought the blender was talking to me. I was about to pour barbecue sauce on a bottle of Fiji water. Juice cleansing, it seems, isn’t just about health—it’s a test of willpower and sanity.
Lavell’s hilarious take on this health trend turns deprivation into a comedic escapade. He didn’t cleanse his body, but his bank account and dignity sure took a hit. The blender never looked so suspicious.
5. Healthy Eating Guilt
My wife said we should start eating healthier. Now I eat my fried chicken with a side of guilt and a kale leaf for decoration. I chew it real slow too, like, ‘Mmm, tastes like… disappointment and sadness.’
Lavell’s comedic genius shines as he humorously grapples with the universal challenge of eating healthy. Even while poking fun at his dietary habits, he brings laughter and relatability to the table. The kale leaf stands as a symbol of well-intentioned but humorous struggles.
6. Gym Recon Mission
I went to the gym, walked in, saw all them machines and said, ‘This must be a torture chamber.’ I walked around like I was doing recon. People sweating, lifting, dying. I picked up a dumbbell, looked at it, and put it right back down. I said, ‘This ain’t for me. I’ll take my fitness in sandwich form.’
Lavell hilariously transforms the intimidating landscape of gyms into a scene of comedic exploration. His fitness journey remains grounded in humor and sandwiches, leaving the audience in stitches.
7. Hydration Mullet
They say drink more water. I try! I drink water… right before soda, after soda, sometimes I swirl it in my mouth like mouthwash to make myself feel better. It’s called balance. Like a hydration mullet—fun up front, healthy in the back.
Lavell’s comedic wit finds balance in the contrast of health advice and real-life practices. His approach to hydration, with a sprinkle of humor, turns everyday choices into laugh-out-loud moments, making health tips both relatable and entertaining.
8. Mac and Cheese Holy Ghost
You ever eat something so good you start humming like you in a Baptist church? That’s when you know food got the Holy Ghost. I had some mac and cheese the other day that made me speak in tongues. My wife was like, ‘What did you say?’ I said, ‘Amen.’
Lavell’s love for food transcends taste, bringing spiritual joy and laughter. In his world, a dish isn’t just a meal; it’s a divine experience, turning an ordinary moment into a hilarious culinary sermon.
9. Nature Trail Paranoia
I don’t do hiking. I went on a ‘nature trail’ once. That’s just code for ‘walk until you get lost and eaten by bugs.’ I was sweating, paranoid, hearing animal sounds. I’m like, ‘We got Uber out here or what?’
Lavell’s comedic take on nature trails highlights the humorous disconnect between city comfort and outdoor adventures. He needs nature to come with Wi-Fi and air conditioning, transforming hiking into an amusing tale of unexpected survival and laughs.
10. Ghosts vs. Stairs
I ain’t scared of ghosts. Ghosts I can run from. You know what scares me? Stairs. Them things don’t move. They wait. And they talk back. Every step I take, I hear ‘creak… wheeze… pop.’ And that’s just my knees.
Lavell’s fear of stairs turns into comedic gold, as he playfully contrasts supernatural fears with everyday challenges. His steps become a symphony of creaks and laughs, with knees playing the starring role in this hilarious haunting.
11. Homework Motivation
I told my son, ‘You better do your homework or you’ll end up like me.’ He looked around, saw the snacks, Netflix, and said, ‘That’s not so bad.’ I said, ‘Boy, I worked for this lifestyle. You gotta earn lazy.’
Lavell’s comedic parenting advice offers a blend of humor and life lessons, showing the lighter side of responsibility. In his world, laziness is a hard-earned privilege, turning a common parental warning into a funny yet insightful exchange.
12. Shoe-Tying Struggle
I once bent down to tie my shoe and halfway through, I just stayed down. My brain was like, ‘Look, we had a good run. But this might be it.’ My wife walked by and asked if I was praying. I said, ‘If I don’t get up soon, I will be.’
Lavell turns a simple task into a hilarious reflection on aging and perseverance. His comedic timing captures the moment perfectly, making the mundane act of tying shoelaces an epic comedic event.
13. Laughter and Medical Bills
People say laughter is the best medicine. I tried that. I laughed at my medical bill and it still came. Tried paying my copay with stand-up tickets. They said, ‘Nice try, Mr. Crawford. We take Visa, not jokes.’
Lavell’s humor tackles the harsh realities of healthcare with a comedic twist, highlighting the absurdity of the system. His attempt to barter with laughter brings a smile, reminding us that comedy can be a powerful, albeit non-monetary, relief.
14. Nostalgic Allergies
When I was a kid, we didn’t have allergies. You sneezed, your mama said, ‘Bless you,’ then handed you a rake and said, ‘Go outside and be grateful.’ No EpiPens, just hope and a glass of ginger ale.
Lavell’s trip down memory lane humorously contrasts past and present, showcasing the evolution of childhood resilience. His nostalgic take on allergies offers a laugh, emphasizing the simplicity and humor of a bygone era with charm and wit.
15. Yoga Inner Peace
My wife made me try yoga. I was like, ‘How hard can it be?’ Fifteen minutes later I was sweating like I stole something and stuck in ‘child’s pose’ praying for adult supervision. I’m still sore from trying to find my ‘inner peace.’
Lavell’s comedic exploration of yoga uncovers the funny side of attempting serenity and flexibility. His quest for inner peace through yoga becomes a hilarious journey marked by sweat, persistence, and endless laughter.
16. Skinny Jeans Fiasco
I tried wearing skinny jeans. I got one leg in and heard a noise like a bag of chips popping. I looked in the mirror and said, ‘This ain’t fashion, this is a cry for help.’
Lavell’s encounter with fashion trends brings humor to the struggle many face with style and fit. His description of the ordeal is both relatable and laugh-inducing. In this comedy of errors, skinny jeans become the antagonist, highlighting Lavell’s comedic genius in turning everyday challenges into hilarious tales.
17. Camping in Comfort
I don’t do camping. Folks be like, ‘Let’s sleep under the stars!’ I said, ‘Let’s not. I pay rent so I don’t have to share a bed with raccoons.’ You want a fire? I got YouTube. Want s’mores? DoorDash. I camp in 4K, baby.
Lavell’s comedic approach to camping underscores the comforts of modern living while poking fun at outdoor enthusiasts. His preference for indoor ‘camping’ brings laughter and relatability, making a cozy night in sound like the ultimate adventure.
18. Carbs War Declaration
I went on a diet that said ‘No carbs.’ I said, ‘That’s not a diet—that’s an act of war.’ Carbs are my friends. We been through too much together. Me and bread? That’s a relationship.
Lavell’s humorous declaration of loyalty to carbs highlights his comedic take on dieting and food love. His personification of bread elevates the diet struggle into a full-blown comedy skit, allowing audiences to laugh at the universal challenge of dieting.
19. Elevator Duel
I once got stuck in an elevator. Just me and a vending machine. We stared at each other like it was a duel. I had no change, it had snacks. After twenty minutes, I gave it a speech. ‘Look, I’m a good man. Just give me the chips and I’ll leave you in peace.’
Lavell’s comedic imagination turns a mundane situation into a laugh-out-loud showdown. His portrayal of the vending machine as a worthy opponent adds an extra layer of humor, making an elevator ride unforgettable.